Things You Might Think, but Would (PROBABLY) Never Say

We all think things that we likely would never say in person… at least I hope not.

Stop smelling my food. You’re robbing me of the taste molecules (half the taste is in the smell!).

Get off the phone and finish your… “business”. So gross.

I like talking to you. I’d like you more if you were not a foot from my face.

I really don’t mind eating at McDonald’s.

Do you really want to know how I am doing? Or just making conversation?

Could you throw the rest of the chip bag away now that you’ve had your dirty hands in it?

Cannot wait for the Golden Girls marathon tonight!

I am going to pretend like I know what you said because I don’t want you to have to repeat yourself… for my sake.

Wow. That was a long story. What did I do to you?

Does the food taste better when you chew with your mouth open?

That was a terrific belch (or fart). Think of how good yours are when they aren’t rudely done in public!

I am only helping you today because I will need help moving in a month.

I hope you feel better…. so you don’t give that to me.

These are all in fun! 🙂 Any that you thought of that I didn’t put on here? Add it to the comments!